I have had a few requests to give some dating tips to the menfolk (actually, I was accused of being bias because I am married). I am really still a newlywed in my mind, so I still feel a bit in touch. To be fair to all, here is some fruit from the tree of life for the men in your lives:
1. Women do care about how much money you make and your credit score (regardless of what they tell you), but they don’t want you to splash them with dollar-dollar bills or rain on them when you first meet. Not only is it super duper pretentious, but it makes it look like you think the woman is a gold digger. If she turns you down, don’t be surprised. If she takes up an offer, I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, but she don’t mess with no broke…
2. Please, please, please check your hygiene before you high step it over to us. Funky breath, body odor, or cologne does not sit well with us. If we lurch forward because your funky self has come close, it’s not so we can get closer…we are trying to prevent the throw up in our mouths from getting on you.
3. Do not touch, I repeat, do not touch privileged parts of our body without permission, especially when we don’t know you or have never met before. Let me define this for you: face, neck, thighs, buttocks, legs, arms, elbows, knees…get the picture? We hate for men to touch us like they know us. Now if we are on a pole dropping it like it’s hot, that’s a wholly different story. Otherwise, don’t try to molest us unless we touch you first.
4. Please keep your money if you think it will get you invited back to our place or another date. You might as well give us the money as a love offering and say a little prayer. If you think it works, think again. We can pay for our own drinks, and really only want a drink if it has no strings attached. It will be just you and your hand tonight…
5. At least try to look presentable when you approach us…inspect us carefully. Check our style, our hair, our nails, and our make up. Make sure that your style matches ours. If you even have a scintilla of doubt that we might turn you down, we probably will. Just walk away…
I’m at the hairdresser’s getting my fab on. Have to run down to BET to help with some wardrobe styling. Keep it strictly stylish!
