I am so looking forward to getting my Matchmaking Certification (can you believe that’s an actual certification course?). That way I can start charging you folks for this free advice……until then, snatch these crumbs of vital info for free….
One of my recent Date Doctor posts piqued some of my readers interest.
Pretty Girl of Black Pearls writes:
I think [men] need to stop with the lies and games (something men probably say about women). If you want to date more than one woman, say that. If you want to hang with the boys instead of watching a movie I picked out, say that. Some men seem to have a problem with keeping it real sometimes. I am a very sensitive person, but at the same time I want people to be truthful with me. If a decision I made was not as smart, say that. Do not hold things in forever and then argue about them ten years later…
I completely agree….
Men do need so say what they really mean. When they do, however, we should listen. Terrence Howard (It’s so hard out there for a pimp…) tells it like it really is. I find his view of women and dating truly trifling while amusing…but, hey, at least he’s being honest with the ladies…y’all better listen! Thanks to Fresh of Crunk and Disorderly!
At least he has the audacity to be honest. We ladies complain all the time about men not being real about what they want and what they need–the bruh is telling you how it really goes down: if you drop it like its hot for him; he will drop you just as hot after the dirty deed; women need to be at least as “beautiful” as him (I didn’t know that dudes actually called themselves “beautiful”); and they better use baby wipes to clean themselves because toilet paper, even Charmin, is clearly not sufficient enough….but he is keeping it totally real for all potential dates (but why would I listen to a man who carries a “mocketbook?”). You can’t blame the brother when he does just what he said he would do….which leads me into this Date Doctor Edition.
Today’s post is all about interpretation. I will give you what he says…and then tell what he really means.
For example, I thought that TH was a total cad for his comments, but my husband thought completely otherwise:
Hubby’s Interpretation: TH is looking for a virtuous woman. If you don’t respect yourself enough to save it until marriage, he won’t respect you afterwards. If want to play that game, he will play it with you and play you completely out. Women give out sex before marriage because they think that’s what the man really wants–but it actuality, many men will not respect you if you give it up. He wants a gorgeous, virtuous, and highly sanitary conscious mate. (my response: whatever…but I did understand what he meant, I hate to admit)
Disclaimer: Please remember, any advice that I freely distribute to the ladies is strictly from men. I couldn’t make it up if I tried.
“I’m not the marrying type”: no, this doesn’t mean he is not the marrying type, he just doesn’t want to marry you (take note, Kim Porter). Men tend to either marry the woman who they have been went for years (ease and comfortability- men no likey change!) or marry the the person who they are with when they are finally ready to settle down (i.e. you dated him for 8 years but your ex marries the next chick who he has known for a sum total of 6 months)
Note: if you are in a years plus (5 or more) relationship, watch out. They might just be hanging on to you until they find the one they really want to marry.
“No, you don’t look fat in that”: you might look extra fat in the outfit, but he has good enough common sense not to tell you that OR you really don’t look fat
“You don’t need to meet my friends, boys, cousins,etc”: he doesn’t see you as relationship or steady date status. Why waste his time and energy taking you around the crew if he has to explain you away to them later?
Note: Be very very careful ladies. There do exist serial monogamists who will wife you up in a heartbeat’s notice and then stop calling/visiting in a few weeks. You know, the kind that talks about your wedding midway through the first date…..
“It’s not you, it’s me”: a man’s complete cop-out. Men don’t want to hurt your feelings (gasp!) and want to keep a good reputation. They want to look admirable through the confession of their wrongs and look good in everyone else’s eyes. It shatters the male ego to be seen as anything less than what he perceives himself to be. But, on the hand, there are those who just don’t care one way or another and just need you to leave them alone. They are done with you and that’s the sad truth of it…
Note: if they stop calling/texting/emailing you, he doesn’t want to be with you. Rather than explain to you why they don’t want you, it’s easier to cut you off completely than reason with you. If they reply to your stalkeriffic behavior, they might start spending time with you again, thus starting the catch 22 cycle all over again. Don’t celebrate it as a victory….you will just get cut off again eventually….
“Ahh, she’s okay (as fas as looks)”: that woman is NOT his type. If he is describing you, stop pushing up on him. We ladies tend to hone in and put our target on one man, while men are true hunters and believe in the numbers game (the more women they meet, the better their chances). Short of pulling a Pam Anderson and doing an Extreme Makeover, if you weren’t his type to begin with, you will never be. Contrary to feminine popular belief, he WON’T come around one day and realize that you’re the one. He’s really not that into you….
I hope this whets your appetite for much, much more. Keep it strictly stylish!
ouch *winces in pain*