Happy Wednesday!
One of my dedicated and fab loyal readers, Greg, posed this query to me after this MAN DAY post:
Thanks for the Man Day article. I think it is essential people know what you
wrote. I actually follow these rules. They can do a lot for you. Mostly you gain
trust and respect because you give it. However, I do have just one tiny issue.
People tend to take the “nice-ness” for granted and take a mile instead of a
step. Just an idea. How about a follow-up article (mostly cause I want to know
what you think about the issue) dealing with men being men doing chivalrous
things while maintaining an air of assertiveness.
I collaborated with my dear hubby Patrick to answer this McDoozy:
Me: I have never taken a man being chivalrous (i.e. opening the doors for me, pulling out my chair, picking up bags and heavy luggage, ordering for me after I’ve informed him of my menu selection, holding an umbrella for me in rainy/snowy weather, etc.) as being weak, punkish, or . If a man is bold and courteous enough to do these things for me without me having to ask, I personally see it as the signs of the rare sighting of a gentleman. Albeit, I am from the South and have been groomed to expect this type of behavior from all men, I have realized that all men are not groomed similarly. Although many a female whilst asserting her independence will boldly declare that they don’t need men to do anything for them in order to exist, many females gladly welcome chivalry when it is due or when it is completely unexpected. Although the era of etiquette seems to have passed over Gen X, Y, Z….whatever…..it is still the best policy in my eyes and in the eyes of others who love all things fab.
So, I sum this all by saying that any woman who perceives your chivalrous behavior as for granted as mere niceness needs to either be replaced by a woman who will appreciate such a gentlemen.
Patrick: There is inner strength in a man that displays love and respect to the women in his life as well as any to other women that he encounters. There is nothing weak, soft, or timid about a man who has these uncompromising traits. These are actually the requirements that GOD has set forth for us to model ourselves in his likeness.
There are simple ways that you can be assertive while be chivalrous.
Some examples include:
1. While opening the door for a lady, place your hand on the small of her back and guide her gently through the corridor.
2. When going to dinner with a lady, do your research about the foods that she prefers and order an entree that is within the range of her menu preference from that specific restaurant.
ENOUGH SAID!
For more info about male etiquette, check out Be Better Guys and their blogs, Better Than A Beatdown and Better Guy X.
Have a strictly stylish day!
