Okay, I know that it is hard to be a single ladies in these times. And there are SO many out there–that is evident by how many times I hear Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” when a nearby cell phone rings….
If you can’t land a man, should you have casual sex like a man to get your needs fulfilled? I admit that most women need an emotional attachment when it comes to sex. Although she may tell you that she can handle a no-strings attached type of deal, in reality, after the 3rd or 4th time you have had sex, she is attached. Or, women think that they will be the best experience that a man will have and he will instantly want more than sex–NOT! So, no cyberstalking or harassing phone calls, conciliatory gifts, or unwritten loans to your casual partners. If he only wants sex, he’s just not that into you! However, if you should partake in casual sex to fulfill your needs here a few tips from Ian Kerner, Ph.D.
- It’s your call: You can have sex like a man, but just know that the more casual the situation, the less likely it is you’ll achieve orgasm or any emotional state of happiness.
- Trust what sex tells you: If you feel angry or regretful after a sexual encounter, listen to it. Conversely, if you feel a sense of warmth, you might be onto something.
- The means or the end? Can you compartmentalize between the pleasures of sex and its emotional qualities? If you’re having casual sex as a means to an end (the pleasure of a flesh-on-flesh orgasm), navigating the “means” may be trickier than expected.
- Define yourself: Some sex acts carry more weight than others for a whole variety of reasons — rational and irrational. Even if something seems irrational, trust your instincts.
- Don’t internalize: Social judgments and your own moral compass may make you feel like what you’re doing is wrong. If so, change your behavior, but don’t internalize the judgments of others.
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